Recently, I came across a piece I wrote when I was 17. It felt like I have changed completely, and not at all. While I have experienced so much life since then, the passions I expressed back then remain at the core of who I am today.
My essay was inspired by Bertrand Russell’s “What I Have Lived For,” an essay that was required reading for my high school English class. His reflections on his own life’s purpose encouraged me, even as a teenager, to consider what truly drives me: the never-ending quest for knowledge, the endeavour to stay connected to my roots, and the pursuit of the courage to think, feel, and exist freely.
Three Passions
Three passions, forever ingrained in my soul, have shaped my life into the beautiful form it is today: the never-ending quest for knowledge, the endeavour to stay connected to my roots, and the pursuit of the courage to think, feel, and exist freely. These passions have carried me along paths shadowed by hidden trials and brightened by profound growth. Yet even in the darkness, never has there been a day without hope.
The quest for knowledge, for understanding existence, has had a profound impact on my life. I have searched for knowledge like a parched traveller seeks water in the desert. I have aspired to know everything I possibly can. I have wanted to learn about the ghosts of humanity’s pasts, the patterns and paradoxes of our existence, and the capabilities of our consciousness. Yet, I have acquired only a drop out of the infinite ocean of knowledge. My curiosity extends into the modern realm of data and discovery. I see patterns in biology, statistics, and the world around me as a kind of language, revealing insights about life itself.
Staying connected to my roots has been equally important. As someone navigating multiple cultures, I have strived to honour the struggles of my ancestors while forging my own path in the present. Like a tree, I understand that I could only stay firmly standing as long as I have a strong and deep connection with my roots.. Culture provides both grounding and perspective, enriching my understanding of the world and guiding my scientific and personal inquiries alike.
Knowledge and culture are like the trunk and roots of the tree of my life. But the most significant obstacle has been gaining the courage to spread my branches. The pursuit of courage has been an integral part of my journey: the courage to express myself, to think independently, and to live authentically. Every time I have wished to express my judgments, anxiety has come creeping in like a shadow, casting its darkness and making me question my own competence. I believe I have overcome this darkness at last. Even in the face of serious obstacles, some of which once felt nearly insurmountable, I have continued to nurture this courage, letting it guide the way I live and learn.
These passions have guided me through my life, and I have let myself be directed.
Reflection
Looking back, I am struck by how consistent my values have remained, even as my understanding has deepened. Bertrand Russell once wrote about the forces that give a life purpose, and I see now how his ideas shaped my thinking even at 17. The curiosity to explore, the connection to my roots, and the courage to exist fully continue to define the way I move through the world. Reflecting on this now, I feel gratitude for the lessons, the growth, and the challenges that have shaped my journey: both personal and academic.
Russell, B. (1969). What I Have Lived for : Prologue from the autobiography of Bertrand Russell. Graphic Arts Department, Vancouver Vocational Institute.